My Supermarket

Fortune smiled on me when I moved to Bridgeport (go White Sox!) this past July. I live half a block away from all of the following: A tailor's, a supermarket, a public library, and 2 thrift stores. My roommate works like 8 jobs and I don't have many friends in the city right now. As a result, I have the evenings all to myself to curl my lips around a few shots of vodka/gin/whatever is in the freezer or a cheap bottle of wine. I have a pretty nice stereo and it plays me music that I like. It even has a remote. So, cooking becomes a full-on party. But we should start at the beginning. The supermarket I shop at is Halsted Foods and I like them for the following reasons:


Things I Like About Halsted Foods

1. Overall, they are cheap. Except when it comes to butter and eggs. Which is weird but I'm lazy and the produce/canned goods are *so* reasonable. 99 cents for an avocado!
2. The people who work there are all really nice teenagers. As such, they usually laugh when I tell them stupid jokes. Which is gratifying. 
3. It is small-ish. I inherited my mother's attention span and therefore I have a difficult time staying on task in major supermarket branches. I usually end up talking to myself in a Russian or German accent just to keep from freaking the fuck out. Also... that goddamned music. Seriously, you can't even imagine how stressed out I was when I realized I was in a Target that also sold groceries.
4. Halsted sells the brand of pickles that I like. Though lately I've been pickling my own veggies.


Things I Don't Like About Halsted Foods

1. They don't have a lot of ethnic things that I like to cook with/consume. Mentionables include: Matzoh meal & currant juice.
2. They have a limited selection of cheeses.  This could easily have been combined with item 1 but I think if you are still reading this you understand the gravity of the situation.
3. The aisles aren't labeled with those handy "WHAT IS IN THIS AISLE" signs


So as you can see from a basic pro/con point of view, I can't bring myself to shop anywhere else really because 4 to 3, Halsted Foods is great.



DIALOGUES

There is a checker-girl who works there that I really like a lot. Let's call her Glasses Check Out Girl. Every time I go in there she gracefully handles my strange questions and perturbed after-work inability to socialize. One time I remember, I asked her desperately, my eyes pulled wide open in my face which is customary after 10+ hours of being on the phone with disgruntled tenants and lawyers all day.

"Do you guys have matzoh meal??"
"What...is that?"
"It's like flour but... it's matzoh..."
"Oh! I think so!"
In a jiffy she scampered off into the landscape of grocery store aisles and emerged with fresh prey: a bag of Masa Meal. "Is this what you were looking for?" I was so sad to tell her it wasn't because she was so in earnest. Also because I really wanted to make chicken matzoh ball soup that night.

Another time I approached her, less crazed but still with searching intensity:

"Do you guys have chai tea?"
"Oh my god! We totally should! Hey Phyllis!" she addressed another employee, "Do we have chai tea?"
"Any black tea would be fine, really." I said almost pleadingly
"Nope." said Phyllis with confidence.
"Sorry, no," Glasses Check Out Girl reiterated.

Just today I met another character at Halsted foods who will be called Cute High School Boy. Cute High School Boy and Glasses Check Out Girl are pretty funny together. I gather that they are friends though I wouldn't be surprised if they are dating (or NEAR-dating: a state of being that I am very familiar with). Anyway, I approached them with my usual apologetic inquiry,

"Do you guys have pancetta?"
"What...is that?" I could tell that Cute High School Boy wanted to be helpful but required more information.
"I don't really know. I think it's ham."
"That would be at the deli then."
"That makes sense!"

They didn't have pancetta but they DID have Polish ham which made me a happy clam. Later, as I was checking out, Cute High School Boy double checked to make sure that I had had a pleasant shopping experience:

"Did you get that ham stuff you needed?"
"Yeah! Well, no. I got different ham but it's good!"
"Cool."
"You know, I have to say that I'm sorry. I feel like every time I come in here I'm 'that neurotic customer.' "
"No," he said comfortingly, "You just always ask for weird things."