Miracle of Miracles

My prayers were answered!!!!

So I was at Halsted Foods the other day, doing my regular grocery shopping and....well... the way I shop for groceries is very structured. This is to avoid a situation where I become stressed out and start talking to myself because then no one will help me because they think I'm crazy. I go up aisle one, and down aisle two. Up aisle three and down aisle four. Always. It helps me. Truly, if you have never seen me in a large store then I must assure you that it overwhelms me. For instance, I was at Macy's the other day -- THE FLAGSHIP MACY'S -- looking for flannel sheets and somehow I wound up in this nearly abandoned part of the store stuffed full of product that no one was even looking at besides me. Pots and pans all shining at me like wanton prostitutes, a dining-room sized table stacked high with nothing but Pizza-Made-Easy! pans, a small clearing of petite Christmas trees overloaded with gold and red ornaments, display furniture of various shapes and sizes that all seemed to lumber around me as I walked down a glossy hallway absolutely and completely alone. I was ducking around pillars and blenders, trying to ignore the eeriness of happy-go-lucky piped in music when I finally encountered a sales representative. "HI OKAY WHERE IS THE ELEVATOR?"

"Over there."

"Thank you. Dear god, you are the only person I've seen in 10 minutes. I thought I might be trapped in some kind of art film!" I get so stressed out I actually say things like that to people. But this isn't what I was originally telling you about.

So I was walking up aisle two of Halsted foods, looking first to my left and then to my right AND THERE, TO MY SHEER AND EXTREME DELIGHT was a can of "Hungarian style" sardines in Polish packaging.

That's right. My local grocery store just started AN ENTIRE AISLE dedicated solely to Polish foods. I nearly died and went to heaven. Incidentally, I met YET ANOTHER employee of Halsted Foods. I don't know his name so we will call him Rather Large Cute (Highschool?) Boy. Rather Large Cute (Highschool?) Boy was stocking groceries on the other side of the aisle and I approached him with glee, wearing straight up awe-on-my-jaw:

Me: Excuse me....is...is...is..THIS NEW???
RLC(H?)B: Oh, yeah it is.
Me: Ohhhh myyyyy goddddd.
RLC(H?)B: Hahahaha, you like it?
Me: Let me tell you something, I used to live in Ukrainian Village and you could find this stuff anywhere. I mean anywhere. In an alleyway, down in the gutters, on the bus, ANYWHERE.
RLC(H?)B: Hahahaha, what is it? I can't read it.
Me: It's Polish.
RLC(H?)B: Oh okay cool!
Me: You don't even know how much this means to me.

Then I went to the deli counter but, alas, they don't sell chopped liver. And when I say "they don't sell chopped liver" what I really mean is, they have no idea what chopped liver is and need me to describe it to them before they tell me that they don't have it.


Le Sigh,
Toujours amour
pour tu,
parce-que tu es mon favori,
avec les bisous bisous,
Mackenzie