Awkward. Period.

Have you ever been in a non-English speaking country and needed a maxipad?

This past summer I went to Budapest & Prague with my parents and had a lovely time. Well, lovely in the sense that even though my family is a little high strung, we all made serious efforts not to throttle one another. NO REALLY, I had a great time.

See? Like the Russian soldier (right) and the Hungarian civilian  (left), my mother and I were able to find peace in a difficult time. That's at Memento Park, in case you're wondering. Anyway, maxipads:

 So I was in Budapest with my family and I got my period. Ugh. So first I looked up the Hungarian word for pharmacy [gyógyszertár--at one point I did know how to pronounce that (Hungarian is a strange language, in fact! my professor Sergey Glebov told me that it is an Uralic language and therefore very closely related to Finnish and Estonian AND people who speak languages in this linguistic family are the most likely ON EARTH to commit suicide!)] and then I had to ask a few different Hungarians for directions in order to find said pharmacy, er, eh hem, gyógyszertár:


left/ balra
right/ jobbra
left / balra
right / jobbra

I finally found a pharmacy.

Dialogue

Me: Hello!
Pharmacist: Hello!
Me: Do you have maxipads?
Pharm: Errrrrrrrr I'm sorry. English not so good. A moment please? She speaks better....[indicating another employee]
Me: Okay! [internationally understood form of agreement]
.....a few moments go by....
2nd Pharm: Hello!
Me: Hello! Do you have maxipads?
2nd Pharm: Errrrrrrrr.....
Me: Okay like....I am having my period?
2nd Pharm: [blank stare]
Man Behind Me in Line: LOL 
Me: Okay. Okay. Ummm. Okay. Like....
Man Behind Me In Line: LOL
Me: Okay...,OKAY HERE WE GO. Every month a woman... [ambiguous gestures]
 2nd Pharm: OH! OH! OH! [retrieves a giant wicker basket FULL of feminine products]
Me: YAY!!!!!!!!!
Pharmarcists: YAY!!!!!


It was a great day for world peace. Except for that fucking guy behind me. Just suck it up man and help me out. You CLEARLY speak both Hungarian and English. Periods aren't weird. Get over yourself.

What does this have to with drinks or dinner? I'll tell you. I'm drunk and eating dinner as I'm writing this.


Also, here is the Hungarian translation of that entire conversation, just for funzos:


Én: Jó napot!
Gyógyszerész: Hello!
Én: Van maxipads?
Gyógyszerész: Errrrrrrrr sajnálom. Angol nem olyan jó. Egy pillanat? Ő jobban beszél ....[ jelzi egy másik alkalmazottal]
Én: Oké! [Nemzetközileg ismert formájában megállapodás] ..... néhány pillanatig menni ....
Másik Gyógyszerész: Hello!
Én: Jó napot! Van maxipads?
Másik Gyógyszerész: Errrrrrrrr .....
Én: Oké, mint .... Én a határidő?
Másik Gyógyszerész: [üres bámulni]
Az ember állt a hátam mögött: LOL
Én: Oké. Oké. Ööö. Oké. Mint ....
Az ember állt a hátam mögött: LOL
Én: Oké ... mint minden hónapban, egy nő, ööö, nos ...
Másik Gyógyszerész: OH! OH! OH! [Letölti egy hatalmas fonott kosár női termékek]
Én: YAY !!!!!!!!!
Gyógyszerészek: YAY !!!!!